New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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