Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
