Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
