Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
