Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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