Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
