Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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