Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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