i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize