sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
