Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
