Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
