Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
