I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
