Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
