hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
