Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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