My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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