My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
