so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize