VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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