nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
