No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
