here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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