So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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