Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
