The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i now understand why vodka
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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