My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
well most of my day revolves around power hour
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
