Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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