but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
