So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
