Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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