i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
fuck your aforementioned shoe
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
