At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
