her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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