So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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