now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
