Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
