she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
