No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you had me at cake vodka
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
