I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
