it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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