I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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