I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
