So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I had to cum in my sink.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
