you guys were way drunker than both of me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
