No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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