How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize