Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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