Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
