he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
