did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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