My friends, they love my intelligence
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And then my night got REAL pukey
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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