Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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