how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
