Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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