there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize