Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
