I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
