He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
