The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
honey bunches of taint.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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