...so i touched it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
